Fang is a Lightweight
by wunderwolfer
Summary: Fangrai-Febuary Prompt 18: Contrary to popular belief, Fang can't actually hold her liquor. This leads to drunken confessions of love that Lightning doesn't quite know if she's meant to take seriously.
1. Chapter 1: Bar Run

Huzzah for Fangrai-Febuary! Check it out on Tumblr and join the celebration of all things Flight.

**Prompt 18**

Contrary to popular belief, Fang can't actually hold her liquor. This leads to drunken confessions of love that Lightning doesn't quite know if she's meant to take seriously.

Another author has already filled this prompt! *Laments*. Hopefully you'll enjoy this version as well.

Everything belongs to Square Enix

Prepare for silliness...

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There were some things that Lightning hated about being a soldier in New Bodhum's Guardian Corps, not many things but some things and one of those things was the Saturday club run.

In their infinite wisdom the desk jockeys at headquarters had decided that the Corps needed to have a more 'visible presence in the community' so every Saturday night near to closing time a patrol officer was given the pointless task of visiting every local drinking establishment 'to encourage a supportive relationship between the new Bodhum guardian corps and local businesses'. Tonight was Lightning's turn and of course she wasn't happy. She hated clubs: the loud music, the crowds, and there was something about being drunk that made people even more stupid and irritating than usual for the poor soldier. Tonight's run had thankfully been uneventful and she just had one club left, Lebreau's, whom she always left till last as she found it to be the most tolerable bar in Bodhum. And if her years in the corps had taught her anything it was to always end your shift on a high note.

With a relenting sigh and an acknowledging nod at the familiar club's bouncers she pushed her way through the bar's wooden door.

Lebreau's wasn't as big as most of the bars in New Bodhum but its low ceiling, wooden interior (instead of the cold metal and plastic furnishings of the uptown clubs), copious seating, good food and low upbeat music gave the bar real warmth that was accentuated by the friendly atmosphere Lebreau strove to create. The owner was as cheerful, welcoming and popular as her bar but everyone knew that she was infamously intolerant to troublemakers on her premises. So on most night's her clientele were usually well behaved and that meant less call outs, arrests and paperwork for Captain Lightning; that made Lightning happy.

So it was no surprise for the Soldier to find the ever popular bar packed full of people drinking, laughing and dancing but no sooner had she taken two steps into the club then she heard a single perching voice rise above the combined din of the large crowd and music.

"Sunnnnnnshiiiiiiinnne_._"

Lightning paused for a moment slightly startled by the sound of the familiar voice in the last place she would expect her to be. "Must be hearing things," she muttered to herself and continued moving towards the bar

"Sunnnnnnshiiiiiiinnne_,_" the same voice yelled again.

_The accent, the nickname…but it can't be. _Lightning pushed her way through the reveling crowd her eyes scanned the dark club to find the obnoxious culprit. The voice continued to haunt her with that infuriating pet name as she moved slowly around the club searching for its source. Finally the bar and as she scanned its length for the club owner her eyes settled onto the grinning, very familiar, vocal culprit frantically waving at her from her seat next to bar "Fang!" she exclaimed her mouth gaping open in shock. _It is her!_ _Is she drunk! _

The brunette inelegantly dismounted the stool she had been sitting on and stumbled through the crowd knocking into the other customers and using them temporary balances as she clumsily made her way towards the motionless and astonished soldier's position."Sunshine," Fang whispered breathlessly as she reached her target, her eyes twinkling excitedly as she beamed a bright happy smile at the soldier.

Lightning greeted her friend with a small, wary smile and took a moment to scrutinise her appearance; messy hair (more than usual), dilated eyes, slurred speech, her sari had fallen from her shoulder and had been left hanging from her belt. The evidence was mounting but Lightning was still unsure; she had never even seen the huntress drink alcohol and had assumed the huntress avoided it. The soldier decided that she had to interrogate.

Lightning gently put the huntress' sari back on her shoulder and left her hand there. The soldier followed her training and made eye contact with the Pulsian to assess her cognition as she questioned her. "Fang," Lightning began to ask," are you d-ompf," she grunted as Fang unexpectedly pulled the soldier into a fierce, unyielding embrace cutting off Lightning's question but involuntarily answering it. Lightning stood still in shock as the woman held her. She was used to Fang's unpredictable hugs but they did not usually last this long and the huntress smelling her hair was definitely novel. Lightning flinched as Fang brushed her face against her hair and slurred the soldier's name.

The soldier was furious. "Lebreau!" Lightning's growl was muffled by the huntress's embrace. She could not believe that the barwoman had been irresponsible enough to continue serving Fang alcohol until she reached her current state; she could have her alcohol license revoked. The soldier barked the barwoman's name again and tried to remove herself from Fang's arms by pushing away from the huntress but even under the influence the woman was still powerfully strong and her grip around the soldier's back was almost immovable. Fang appeared completely oblivious or indifferent to Lightning's entreaties to release her and unable to break her friend's embrace she managed to turn in Fang's arms so her back was flush against the huntress' front. Lightning was so livid that nothing was going to stop her reprimand of the guilty bartender even a huntress. She stormed towards the bar dragging Fang behind her.

Lebreau watched Lightning/Fang's enraged progress to the bar and momentarily stopped mixing a drink to hold her free hand up to stop Lightning's angry tirade, "before you say anything soldier girl I stopped serving her alcohol an hour ago and she hasn't even had that much."

Lightning arched a questioning eyebrow and her eyes widened in shock as Lebreau smirked holding up four fingers. _Four drinks! Serah can drink more than that!_

Lebreau served a customer with the cocktail and laughed at Lightning's shocked expression while leaning on the bar in front of her. "Surprising isn't it. You'd think the best hunter in New Bodhum could handle a few brews."

"Yea," Lightning agreed in wide-eyed wonder. She'd always thought that if Fang did drink alcohol she would be some sort of hardened drinker not a flimsy lightweight.

Fang was so intoxicated on her four drinks that she seemed unaware that the women were discussing her or was remaining tactically silent as she tightened her arms around her friend's waist pulling Lightning closer to her. Lightning rolled her eyes and tried once again to unlock her friend's arms from around her waist before she decided to give up trying; in her experience when dealing with the mischievous, attention-seeking Pulsian's pranks it was best to ignore her. "So any problems we should know about, "Lightning asked reverting back to business to distract herself from Fang's warmth and her surprisingly comfortable hug.

"Nothing, except for this one talking everyone's ear off," Lebreau nodded towards the huntress currently resting her head on Lightning's shoulder with her eyes closed humming contentedly.

"Talking about what?" Lightning frowned curious to discover why the huntress was drunk and seeking comfort in the most unlikely of places. Lightning was very aware that she was rather cold and introverted when it came to personnel matters so in these kind of situations surely Vanille, even Snow would be a better hugging companion.

Lebreau snorted leaning on her elbow. "I'd be a very poor bartender if I divulged my all my patron's secrets it would break my oath of client-bartender confidentiality." Her smile dropped as she looked at Lightning's expression, "don't worry," she added kindly to the concerned soldier, "she's okay she just needed someone to talk to."

Lightning was still worried. Although the outwardly stoic warrior tried her best to hide it she was keenly empathetic about her friends and if there was something bothering Fang to the extent where she resorted to solitary drinking Lightning needed to find out exactly what it is. Fang was so cheerful and fun loving, and drinking alone seemed so gloomy and uncharacteristic. What was troubling the huntress was a complete mystery to the soldier; she didn't appear to be depressed in fact quite the opposite. The soldier just managed to moderate her squeak of surprise down to an almost indiscernible lip twitch as Fang hugged her closer and began nuzzling her neck.

Lightning was determined to find out what or who was bothering the typically easygoing huntress but first she needed to get her home and sober. She stretched her neck away from Fang's caressing nose."Can you call us a cab?"

"On a Saturday night near closing time! You'll be one lucky lady Lightning," Lebreau chuckled as she began wiping down the bar. Lightning sighed sadly the barwoman was right, _guess we're walking._

"Oh this is Lightning!" the blonde man who had been sitting at the bar next to Fang asked Lebreau eagerly pointing at the soldier. The outburst sent a ripple of similar excited exclamations through the people in the nearby crowd. _That's Lightning …where's Lightning_…_over there next to Fang, the pinky…oh she _is_ beautiful._

Scowling Lightning's head snapped back and forth as complete strangers said her name. _What the hell was going on? Why do all these people know my name? _Her surprise was further exacerbated as Fang released her grip around the Lightning's waist but only to exchange it for a soft but unbreakable hold around the her head. She dragged Lightning closer to the blonde man.

"Doesn't her hair smell good?" Fang slurred ignoring the bent over Lightning's furious complaints, violent threats, and struggling. She briefly resting her cheek on top of the soldier's head, "Didn't I say? Didn't I tell you she smelt good?"

The huntress pulled Lightning's head up towards man and grinned widely as the startled blonde looked at Fang's encouraging smile and indulgently smelt the hair he was presented with. "Mmm that is good," the blonde agreed good-naturedly.

"Pretty good from this angle as well," the guy on the bar stool behind them leered down at the stooped Lightning posture.

Lightning almost dropped to the ground as Fang released her head with a snarl, and before the soldier could stop her, turned and quickly pulled the man backwards off his bar stool by his shirt. "Keep your eyes and comments to yourself bitch," she threatened looming over the offensive man sprawled out on the bar floor.

"Fang!" Lightning reprimanded shocked (but also secretly slightly moved) by Fang's intolerant behavior, that was 'disturbance of the peace' worthy.

"Come on Lightning," Fang huffed in indignation. Ignoring Lightning's complaints she grabbed the soldier's hand and with her head held high began dragging Lightning out of the bar.

Lebreau laughed loudly as she leaned over the bar to look down at the fallen man, "Serves you right, you've been a dirty pervert to my staff all night." She looked up just in time so see the soldier being pulled out of sight by the fuming Huntress. "Have a good night ladies," Lebreau laughed knowingly.

"Bye Fang. Bye Lightning," the crowd said in unison.

Dumbfounded by Lebreau's wink and her sudden fame she half-heartedly waved her good-bye to the barwoman and wondered not for the last time that night, what was going on with Fang?

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Just one chapter left, I just wanted to get this finished before February ended. Hopefully I'll have it done in the next couple of weeks.

I'm also finishing another prompt for Fangrai-Febuary and guess what it's already been filled as well! I suck.

Anyway, hope you liked it.


	2. Chapter 2: Drunken confessions

So what started as a two chapters has now evolved or devolved depending on your opinion, into four chapters (including the first); I'm sorry I got carried away with Fang and Lightning's conversation. Next chapter is up, the third is soon to follow, and the last chapter will be much shorter and hopefully finished soon.

Thank you for your comments, reviews, favourites and follows, I really appreciate it. I hope the remaining chapters do not disappoint.

**Warning** this chapter contains an iddy bit of bad language.

Let the crack continue….

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"Fang stay on the damn pavement! You keep dragging us into the road." Lightning barked as Fang drunkenly wobbled towards the road pulling the soldier with her. Perhaps linking arms with the huntress hadn't been a great idea but the soldier needed some way to lead her home and holding her hand had made the soldier feel far too uncomfortable. She guided the Pulsian back into the middle of the sidewalk.

Fang turned her glazed eyes towards her friend. "It's not my fault you can't walk straight," she slurred, "I'm pissed," she reasoned pointing a thumb at herself. "What's your excuse?" she asked poking the soldier's arm.

Lightning glared at the offensive finger as it touched her and followed it straight to its irritating source. "You're the one who's leading us into the road not me," she growled. Standing still she yanked the woman towards her as she started to veer away again. Jerked backwards Fang stumbled into the soldier who managed to catch her in her arms before she fell over resulting in a flawless ballroom dip.

Fang grinned looking up at her red-faced friend. "Well if you were more effective at leading Captain Farron," Fang cooed mockingly pouting her lips as she baby-talked to the soldier. "I wouldn't be able to drag us anywhere now would I?" And without any consideration for own safety Fang decided to conclude her teasing by touching the soldier…again.

Lightning eyes crossed as they followed the digit's slow progress towards the tip of her nose. Fang could be so irritating, she mused. Most of the time Lightning actually really liked the huntress but when Fang was feeling "playful", as Vanille described it, it was usually Lightning that bore the brunt of her "playfulness". Pranks, jokes, teasing, at times the huntress would mock her incessantly. Why, was a complete mystery to the corp but she assumed it had something to do the satisfaction of provoking the stoic soldier. So Lightning had quickly learned to endure the woman's innuendo-laced teasing and ninja hugs typically with either an eye roll or a characteristic 'tch' because any other reaction only seemed to encourage her (plus Lightning's retaliation, typically punching, always incurred the wrath of Serah and Vanille and their enraged high-pitched reprimands were quite scary especially in tandem). Consequently this was why as she watched Fang's single index finger travel towards her nose she stifled her overwhelming desire to drop the Pulsian onto the floor. And instead allowed the finger to complete its journey without interruption. She didn't even react violently when Fang added a sound effect.

"Beep," Fang beeped squashing Lightning's nose with her fingertip.

"I don't want to spend my night scraping you off the road so just stay on the pavement." Lightning growled through her teeth. "And will you please remove your finger from my nose!"

"Heeeeey I've got a great idea," Fang chirped excitedly as she stood upright.

Lightning jerked her head away and swatting at her friend's hand as Fang tried to pinch her cheek. The huntress staggered behind her and placed her hands on her shoulders. Lightning's froze, "Fang what are you doing?" she said warily beginning to turn around.

"You can give me a piggyback."

"No Fang don't-." Lightning grunted as Fang ignored her protests and using her shoulders as leverage jumped straight onto the soldier's back. Lightning automatically bent forward, locking her arms under the huntress' knees to stop her from falling. She stumbling forward a few steps as she tried to accommodate the unexpected weight. "Etro Fang you weight a ton," she complained.

Fang leaned forward wrapping her draping her arms further around the soldier's neck. "It's all muscle baby," she purred into the Lightning's ear demonstratively flexing her strong thigh muscles.

Lightning gasped as Fang's legs tightened around her waist. "Fang!" Lightning snapped as the prankster began laughing obnoxiously.

"We'll get home a lot quicker and I won't be falling in any roads," Fang cajoled in a sweet voice before Lightning had a satisfaction of dropping her.

Lightning paused and thought about how long it had taken them to walk this far; she could still see the bar they had left twenty minutes ago. Reluctantly she began to carry the Pulsian home. "Fine but no nuzzling,"

"No promises pinky, now giddyup," she ordered. "Hi-yo Lightning! Away," the huntress cried dramatically pointing over Lightning's shoulder. The soldier's step momentarily faltered as Fang gave her faithful steed an encouraging smack on her backside.

"This is going to be a long night," Lightning predicted sullenly.

She resumed the long walk home grimacing as the giggling brunette started nuzzling her neck.

xxxoXoxxx

Confused Fang looked up at Lightning's simple two-storied house. "This isn't where I live," Fang correctly deduced as she was carried up the garden path.

Lightning walked up the porch steps and gently lowered Fang onto her doorstep. "It's late, my house is closer to Lebreau's and you were worried about waking up Vanille," she reminded the huntress as she opened her front door.

"You see that's why you're the leader Light," Fang proposed loudly ignoring the fact that it had been the Pulsian's idea in the first place. She wandered into the dark house as she voiced some explicatory idioms. "You're sharp. You're brainy. You're on the ball. You're one smart cookie. Ya got's da grey matter go'in onn–owww shit," Fang cursed as she crashed into the furniture. "For the love of Etro!"

"Mind the sofa," Lightning suggested with a small smile. Closing the door behind her she turned on the light to find Fang stood over her sofa rubbing her injured shin.

"Is it made of stone or something," the huntress grumbled giving the sofa a swift vengeful kick. Feeling slightly appeased she wobbled into the open plan kitchen quickly followed by the soldier. Opening the fridge Fang retrieved a beer and popped the cap. Lightning reached around Fang and grabbed the bottle out of the woman's hand. Ignoring Fang's petulant moaning she tipped the entire contents of the bottle down her sink signaling the end of the huntress' drinking session.

"Sit down at the island," the soldier ordered. "I'll make you some food."

Fang's features immediately lit up excitedly at the mention of food. "Got any bacon?" she beamed.

"No. Just sit down," she directed the sulking Pulsian.

xxxoXoxxx

"One chicken, salad and mayo sandwich and a large glass of water," Lightning said placing a plate and glass in front of the Pulsian. "Drink all of it," she instructed sternly.

The huntress greedily crammed half the sandwich into her mouth. Moaning with delight as the delicious sandwich hit her taste buds. "How about a coffee to sober me up a bit?" she suggested with her mouth full.

"It's a myth. Coffee doesn't sober you up it just wakes you up. You'll still be drunk."

"It doesn't?" Fang exclaimed in surprise. Lightning cringed as Fang spat some of the contents of her mouth across her clean surface.

"Drink the water, it'll make the hangover easier," Lightning suggested as she grabbed a kitchen cloth to clean Fang's spittle from the Island counter. Following her advice Fang took a few large gulps of water and grinned happily at her friend before she tucked into the rest of her food.

Lightning wiped the kitchen surface as she observed the Pulsian quickly demolish her sandwich. The Cocoonian was still curious to know exactly why she had decided to get drunk. It must have been a conscious decision. Fang obviously wasn't a regular drinker otherwise she would be able to handle more than four drinks.

The island now clean of crumbs Lightning washed the cloth under the sink taps and sat down opposite the huntress. She laced her fingers together on the table, crossed her legs and leaned slightly towards the Pulsian. She wondered how she should approach this line of inquiry. She felt slightly apprehensive and uncomfortable delving into the huntress' personal life. As a reserved person she knew the value of maintaining one's privacy and didn't want to appear to be prying, but she had to know why Fang was acting so strangely. Fang was family and Lightning was worried about her. She licked her dry lips and decided that Fang would appreciate the direct approach. "Fang why did you get drunk tonight?" Fang paused with the remaining sandwich halfway to her mouth and looked up at the soldier with her blood-shot, unfocussed eyes. "You never drink," Lightning added quietly.

Fang looked down before continuing to eat. "I drink sometimes," she shrugged. "You've just never seen me drunk."

"Why?"

Fang finished her sandwich and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. "I get a bit…honest when I'm drunk," Fang answered hesitantly with a weak smile.

_So she is hiding something from me, _Lightning thought_. Something so terrible she's afraid to get drunk and let her guard down around me! What could it be? A misdemeanor? An illness?_ _Perhaps I should try a different approach and start at the beginning._ "Why did you start drinking on this particular tonight?"

Fang looked down again tracing invisible lines on the surface as she avoided eye contact with her friend. "Because…I missed you," Fang admitted with a slight blush.

Lightning frowned in confusion. "But we see each other almost everyday. We saw each other nine hours ago?" She was sure she had seen Fang when she was on patrol with Lieutenant Smith earlier that evening. It didn't make any sense. How could she miss someone she sees so frequently?

Fang features became sullen as she crossed her arms and glared at the Cocconian. "Yeah you did," she pouted, "when you and Mr Funny pants were enjoying a good joke at my expense. Laughing at me. Laughing at how hopeless and pathetic the mighty Pulsian huntress has become," she rambled.

Lightning was truly baffled by the Pulsian's sudden mood change from bashful to moody. It must be the drink. It would explain why the brunette's reasoning seemed so muddled, because no matter how she thought about it Lightning's sober mind couldn't connect how missing her related to Lieutenant Smith. She couldn't even remember what they had been laughing about when they saw the huntress but they certainly hadn't been laughing at Fang. It was probably another of Smith's amusing stories. His disastrous track record with men was always a source of amusement on boring patrols. "All the Guardian Corps hold you in the highest-regard Fang. You're one of the best warriors in New Bodhum. No-one questions your abilities as a huntress if that's what you are worrying you."

"Noooo that's not what I mean. Why don't you ever listen to me?" Fang whined holding her head in her hands. "And _the_ _best_ warrior Light, _the_ _best_," she corrected sulkily leaning on one elbow.

Lightning decided to ignore the last part of Fang's rant. She was far too interested in the first part, and did not want to fall into another argument about which of them is best warrior in Bodhum. "Well I'm listening now," she said simulating amiability with a forced smile. "What do you mean Fang?"

Fang looked thoughtfully at the soldier (in a drunk therefore confused, exaggerated kind of way). She appeared to be on the brink of telling her something and so Lightning decided to employ a very unusual tactic for the soldier; a method Serah often used against the soldier when she was being stubborn and secretive. She reached across the island and grasped Fang's hand giving it a friendly, encouraging squeeze.

Fang's sat up straight and stared down at their joined hands. Her mouth opening slightly as Lightning soothingly rubbed the Pulsian's knuckles with her thumb. She nervously tucked her hair behind one ear and licked her lips. "Don't freak out Light," Fang pleaded looking up at the soldier with large anxious eyes. Lightning nodded and tried not to seem to eager as she leaned forward. She thought that it must be a terrible secret for the huntress to look so terrified.

The huntress took in a deep breath and said quietly, "I'm in love with you."

Lightning lip twitched. She smiled, then smirked, then chuckled, and unable to contain her mirth any longer began laughing in the astonished Pulsian's face.

"That wasn't the reaction I was looking for," Fang said sadly.

Lightning sat up straight pulling her hand away from Fang's to wipe a tear away of laughter away from her eye. "Nice try Fang but you don't seriously expect me to believe that," she said between chuckles.

"Why the hell not?" Fang yelled angrily furrowing her brow.

Lightning rolled her eyes. "Because it's obviously one of your practical jokes. To be honest I'm quite disappointed they're usually much more inventive."

Lightning was surprised when Fang clumsily leapt to her feet as if she was outraged. "I do _so _love you," Fang slurred putting her hands on her hips.

"No you don't," Lightning smirked.

"Yes I do," Fang seethed.

Lightning's smile faded. "No you don't," she said slowly slightly less amused.

"Yes. I. Do!" Fang yelled. "Look I'll prove it to you." Fang swayed slightly as she routed around her sari for a few seconds and pulled out a mobile phone. The intoxicated Pulsian held the phone close to her face and narrowed her glazed eyes as she tried to focus at the phone screen. She pressed a few buttons moved through the different contacts and pressed call, sneering at the Soldier as she waiting for the recipient to answer.

"Hi Vanille," Fang shouted into the phone. She paused and Lightning could just hear Vanille's high-pitched garbled voice respond. "I don't care what time it is…Yes I'm drunk…No, I'm a Lightning's…Stop fussing and listen will ya? I want you," she pointed at the mobile, "to tell her," she pointed at Lightning, "what everyone else knows about me except her…" Her eyes widened as Vanille responded, "no," she hissed turning her head away from the soldier, "not that thing the other thing,…Yes that thing…Yes I'm sure just tell her…I'm glad too." The huntress thrust her phone under the Cocoonian's face.

Lightning glared derisively at the Pulsian. Sighing she took the phone and held it next to her ear. "Hi Vanille." She greeted, keeping her eyes on the huntress who had crossed her arms, pursed her lips and was agitatedly tapping her foot as she watched the soldier.

"Hi Lightning," Vanille yawned on the other end of the phone. "Fang's in love with you," she said bluntly sounding extremely bored.

"Right. Bye Vanille," Lightning responded wearily.

"Bye," Vanille replied unsurprised by the soldier's curt response.

Ending the call she handed the phone back to the huntress. "See," Fang said smugly as she sat back down.

"Your partner-in-crime cohobating your story isn't exactly proof you're being sincere." She was beginning to find Fang's performance incredibly tiresome.

Fang banged her head against the table, "why don't you believe me," she bemoaned before groaning miserably into the table.

"Let's see, why don't I believe Oerba Yun Fang? " Lightning rubbed her chin pretending to think. "How about from experience," she answered herself. Fang looked up at Lightning confused, so the soldier decided to remind the Pulsian of all her misdemeanors. "What about the time you stole my ID and my uniform. And donned a pink wig so you could impersonate me at the government offices to change my name by deed poll."

"How was I to know they'd tell your work?" Fang shrugged feigning ignorance. It would have been more convincing if she hadn't been grinning mischievously.

"You know I work for the government of course they'd inform the Corps. It's procedure." Lightning eyes narrowed. "And you knew it was a week before the new intake of recruits and they'd send automatic, computerised instructions of whom to report too. Some of them still refer to me as Captain A. Nal behind my back."

"But ya didn't arrest me for fraudulence did ya? I think you secretly like me sunshine," Fang grinned winking at the Guardian Corp.

Lightning growled annoyed by the huntress' blasé attitude to interfering with her treasured career. "What about the time you replaced my shampoo with gelatinous Flan," Lightning continued ignoring Fang's line or reasoning, "which reformed into a small Flan when I squirted it into in my hand.

Fang leaned forward eagerly, "this one gets better every time you tell it," she noted. "I like the bit where is threw shower gel in your eye."

"Yes, so it could escape and hide in my bathroom for a day," she fumed at she recollected the incident. "During its concealment it made a shank using my toothbrush, dental floss and a razor which it used on the second morning during a surprise attack from my bathroom cabinet."

The Pulsian laughed loudly as she remembered Lightning's red angry face when she exited the bathroom holding an irate murderous mini Flan by its makeshift weapon. "The little guy must have really had a size complex, no-one even knew they could use tools let alone make them," she chuckled leaning on her elbow. "Think of it this way Farron together we made a major zoological discovery." It had actually taken quite a lot of experimentation and time to discover a way to cut off part of a Flan and put it inside a container without killing it. Fang was rather proud of that particular prank.

Unsmiling, unamused and unimpressed Lightning folded her arms and glared at the brunette, "And the time you told me that the quickest and most efficient way to stagger a Gorgonopsid is to stick a finger up their as-"

"I didn't think you'd believe me," Fang interrupted laughing so hard she had doubled over in her seat. "I'll never forget the expression on that Gorgonopsid's face for as long as I live," she said in-between chuckles, "I still reminisce about it when I'm feeling gloomy."

A fact well known to the populace of Bodhum was that Lightning really hated it when people laughed at her. And no one made the mistake of laughing at her except the hysterical woman currently sitting opposite her. "And you wonder why I don't believe you when you show me absolutely no respect," she sneered bitterly. "You are a constant source of frustration and irritation".

Fang's mood changed in an instant. Her smile dropped and her face darkened angrily. "Now hold on a second Farron," she snarled. "I'm irritating! I'm frustrating!" Thumping the table she leaned forward pointing an accusing finger at the soldier. "You want to talk about irritating, let me tell you about irritating Farron. You always forget all the nice things I've done for you," she accused.

"Like what?" The soldier challenged leaning towards her mimicking the Huntress' pose.

"How about the time I sent you a Valentine's card? You've never mentioned that," Fang snapped.

Lightning mouth dropped open. She had no idea that Fang sent her a card. She thought about all the cards she had received this year. She wasn't flattered by the huge pile she received every year it just made her question why a large proportion of the New Bodhum population was attracted to someone who, she freely acknowledged, was cold, unfriendly and stubborn. Perhaps it was the uniform. "Which one?" She asked curiously.

"Which one!" Fang was incensed. The drawing had taken her ages. "The handmade one," annoyed when Lightning still looked at her vacantly, "of Bahamut and Odin cuddling and holding a heart. It was obvious it was from me."

"That was Odin!" Lightning exclaimed. She did remember that particular handmade card. Only because no matter how many times or angles she looked at it she couldn't figure out exactly what it was a drawing of.

Fang growled quietly annoyed by Lightning's criticism of her prowess as an artist. "How about the time I cleaned your house and stocked your fridge the day before you got back from your last mission," she tried. "You've never thanked me for that."

"But I assumed it was Serah she's the only one who has my spare key to my house." Lightning said slowly. Realisation suddenly dawned on the soldier, "Fang did you break into my house?" she gasped.

"Don't get your knickers in a twist Sunshine," Fang waved her hand dismissively at the outraged soldier. "I may have been a little drunk at the time but I didn't cause any criminal damage. Anyone can pick a spring latch lock drunk or not. It's a good thing I did because you didn't remind anyone to feed your fish," she slurred

Lightning arched an eyebrow as she slowly crossed her arms. "I don't have any fish," she said pointedly.

Fang snorted in disbelief at the soldier, who responded by shaking her head somberly. Realisation then dawned on the huntress. "Oh…Well I may have got my locations confused but it's the thought that counts," she crossed her arms tilting her head proudly. Obviously her previous examples hadn't exactly made the right impression but she'd saved the best for last. "How about the time I got you a starblossom seed for upgrading your gunblade?"

"I thought it was because it was my birthday?" Lightning frowned.

"I defeated a bandersnatch to get it Lightning. A Bandersnatch. Does that seem like a normal thing for a _friend_ to do for her _friend_ even on their birthday?" She said sardonically, placing emphasis on the word friend. "Fight a Badersnatch...alone. Do you think I just found one in my back garden? It took two weeks to track one down and three hours to kill it."

Lightning felt a little ashamed by Fang's disclosures. She hadn't even considered how the huntress had retrieved her birthday gift. She had spent so much time trying not to be the person she was before The Fall. But it seemed she was still taking the people in her life for granted, especially the woman sitting opposite her. _Have I really been so fixated on Fang's pranks that I've been overlooking all the nice things she's done for me?_ "Oh well I..."

"And frustrating," Fang interrupted. She was too riled and belligerent from the alcohol to let the soldier finish her apology. "How about the fact that you never spend any time with me. You make time for everyone else, even Snow and you barely tolerate him."

Lightning was sure that wasn't right. "We went shopping last week," she argued.

"With Vanille," Fang countered.

"We had dinner two weeks ago."

"With Hope, Serah and Snow."

If there was one thing Lightning found more irritating than people (i.e. Fang) laughing at her it was people highlighting her shortcomings; inobservance was obviously one of them but remorseless pride was another. "Well given your typical behaviour towards me is it any wonder I'm a little reluctant to be alone with me. I won't let you make a fool of me."

"Don't give me that crap about guarding your pride," Fang shook her head looking hurt, "you've been pushing me away from the start. So excuse me if the only way I seem to get any attention from you is to play practical jokes in the vain hope that one day, one day, you'll look at me the same way that you looked at Lieutenant Smart arse."

"Who?" Lightning wondered aloud. "Lieutenant Smith?" Lightning smiled faintly, he was a bit conceited.

Fang paused mid-rant, misreading the soldier's small smile. Her eyes narrowed dangerously. "Are you fucking him?"

Lightning's just managed to maintain her temper. Slowly scrapping her chair along the kitchen tiles she stood up glaring down at the huntress. "My personnel life is none of your damn business," she snapped. The huntress looked sheepishly away from Lightning's barely contained rage. Clenching her jaw Lightning snatched Fang's plate and glass from the island between them. She took them to the dishwasher and was so angry she almost threw the used crockery inside it. She was so furious she didn't even notice that Fang had moved from her seat until the huntress shyly tapped her on her shoulder. Lightning pursed her lips as she turned towards her friend.

"I'm sorry," Fang mumbled looking bashful. Swayed slightly and scratching her arm as looked down at the floor.

Lightning's anger left her as she observed the proud woman's demur expression as she hugged herself. Lightning breathed out feeling slightly appeased. "I don't like talking about my relationships with anyone Fang," she explained calmly.

"I know, I know. I'm just tired and drunk and it makes me irritable and stupid. I'm sorry," she repeated looking up at her friend with large remorseful eyes. "Can we just…can I go to bed? I think I need to sleep," she said quietly.

Lightning face softened. She felt slightly guilty for being so hard on the woman. Fang obviously wasn't thinking coherently, she was so drunk she couldn't even stand straight. Confrontational, emotional, bad-tempered, her inappropriate joke of being in love with her - she was displaying all symptoms of her current impaired condition. She felt that she should have been more tolerant. "Of course you can," Lightning said kindly to imply her forgiveness. "You can take the spare room," she said.

Walking out of the kitchen Lightning motioned for Fang to follow her up the stairs.

* * *

Shank is the name for makeshift weapons made by prisoners for horrible terrible deeds.

The beginning section is inspired by a drunken incident with my lovely lady (her being drunk one and me being sober one) when she tried to convince me that it was my fault that we kept veering into the road. But it was me that got the piggyback home; she's so chivalrous...and dangerous.

And if you really want to know about the Gorgonopsid prank I'll tell you - if you don't look away now - Apparently the technique Fang suggested it is the most effective way to get a Bulldog, or any dog who has been bred to bite and hold on, to let go. That's right people I'm full of useful and probably inaccurate facts. It's the way you tell them that makes people believe them. It's the kind of fact that you sort of believe but you'd probably never utilise even if a bulldog was hanging on your arm. Lightning on the otherhand is single-minded enough to try anything to get the job done.

I'm really not sure about this chapter especially the conversation with Vanille. Let me know what you think, I do love any ideas for improvement and I'm always on the look out for a beta.


	3. Chapter 3: The Spare Room

A big thank you to whenanxietykicksin for being my beta for this chapter. She's my lil' FF Apo and our discussions on chocolate muffins and bacon sandwiches are so insightful they are phenomenal. Seriously, they could change the world.

Thanks again for your support. I hope the seriousness in this chapter doesn't scare you away.

**Warning:** some end-game spoilers, nothing in-depth.

* * *

Lightning searched her dresser drawer for something for Fang to wear to bed, something that would fit the slightly taller woman. She deliberated over a pair of blue shorts and a white t-shirt that may be a little tight on her. _Definitely better than nothing, _she decided. She certainly didn't want the awkward situation of meeting a naked Fang in her hallway. Grabbing the clothes, she left her bedroom and returned to where she had left the brunette.

She entered the spare bedroom to find Fang standing in the middle of the spare bedroom with her back to the door. The brunette shoulders were hunched and her arms were folded as if she was hugging herself to keep warm. She turned her head curiously, looking around the room from where she stood and Lightning realised that this was the first time Fang had ever been in this room. Everyone had stayed here at one point: Serah, Hope, Vanille, even Sazh but never Fang. Was it because there had never been a reason for Fang to need to stay overnight or was it because she had never invited the huntress to stay? It made her wonder about Fang's words to her tonight. _Have I really been treating Fang differently from everyone else? _It made her feel guilty again.

In her inebriated state the soldier was able to watch Fang without the huntress being aware of her presence. Something she had never been able to do before and it made Lightning pause to observe her. Watching her like this she looked so different without any pretence. Lightning had always considered Fang to be happy, she was always so cheerful, but tonight had shown another side of Fang's character that was thoughtful and sad. And her behaviour wasn't just the result of drink but the fact that she had got drunk in the first place. It was obvious to the soldier that Fang had her problems—secret ones she'd tried to drink away. Trying to hide her reason for drinking with the rouse of being in love with her had been a distasteful joke but it had been successful. Lightning still didn't know why the huntress had been drinking but their conversation suggested that Fang needed her to be a better friend.

Fang had a small smile of her face as her eyes lingered on the framed photos that covered the right-hand wall. They were photos Lightning had taken of all the Ex-L'Cie during family gathering, holidays and parties. Fang's smile dropped as Lightning stepped closer and the soldier hid her disappointment passing the clothes to Fang who stopped hugging herself to take them.

"I will let you get changed into those," Lightning explained as the drowsy Pulsian held up the clothes to look at them, "while I get you some more water. You'll probably be thirsty when you wake up." Fang nodded slowly and Lightning made a quick exit as Fang began removing her sari.

Lightning closed the door behind her and checked her watch. She decided to give the drunken woman a little more time to change than she normally would, calculating that fifteen minutes should be enough as the last thing she wanted was to walk in on the woman half dressed. So she followed her usual bedtime rituals: checked that each room was in order, made sure the oven was off and the doors were locked, cleaned the kitchen, brushed her teeth, flossed, and then cleaned, toned and moisturised her face. Then she double checked that the front and back doors were locked, and finally after changing out of her uniform she treated herself to a clean pair of ironed red pyjamas. The soldier retrieved a glass of water and some aspirin for Fang and stood outside the spare room door. She checked her watch and frowned, only twelve minutes since she had left the room. So for a minute she hovered outside the door deliberating over what to do for the remaining three minutes before deciding to check the front door again. Then after exactly fifteen minutes of waiting (to the second) she politely knocked on the spare bedroom's door before entering.

Warily, she poked her head into the room. The huntress had turned off the main light in favour of the bedside lamp and its dull light gently lit the room creating a warm lulling atmosphere and revealed Fang already tucked up into the double beds. Fang was so unusually quiet that Lightning thought she was asleep until she moved further into the room and realised that the woman was silently watching her through half-closed eyes. She placed the water and two aspirin on the bedside table and Fang briefly smiled her thanks but remained silent. It was unnerving how quiet and contemplative the normally jovial and talkative Pulsian was being that it was actually Lightning who filled the silence.

"I've got you some aspirin and water," she said, narrating the obvious as she placed on the bedside table. Fang nodded. Lightning briefly frowned, displeased by the Pulsian's nonverbal response. She tried to think of something…_anything_ to say. "The bathroom is down the hall on the left and my room is on the right," relaying old information to the huntress who had visited the house many times. She noticed that Fang's sari was flung haphazardly over the back of the bedroom chair next to the bed and saw an opportunity to keep her nervous hands busy. Turning her back to the huntress, she began carefully folding the sari as she talked. "I put a new toothbrush in the bathroom and a clean towel. Feel free to get up and use the kitchen if you get hungry. There's plenty of food in the fridge and—".

"You know that's why I love you," Fang interrupted quietly behind her, "the way you care about people. You pretend to be so stoic and withdrawn but I watch you, Lightning and underneath all the bravado you're very compassionate. I love that about you."

Lightning stopped folding and sighed loudly shaking her head, _not this again_.

"Still don't believe me, do you?" Fang inquired in a sad tone. "Then there's only one thing for it." And before Lightning think about what she meant or could react Fang quickly reached around her waist and yanked Lightning onto the bed. Lightning grunted and the sari flew from her hands as her back hit the mattress. Instinctively, she immediately tried to roll away from the huntress but Fang predicted the strategy and jumped on top of the soldier using her arms and legs to pin the soldier to the mattress.

Lightning snarled and struggled for a moment as she tried to pull her arms from the huntress' hands. In contrast Fang was motionless and silent above her searching the soldier's face with an expression the soldier hadn't seen before. Her eyes dropped to her lips and Lightning eyes widened in shock as Fang began to lean towards her. "What are you doing?" Lightning whispered worriedly because she knew exactly what Fang was about to do.

Fang paused with her mouth just above the soldier's. "I've already made a tit of myself yammering on, but you're still not listening to me. I know you're not much of a talker but you're practical," she whispered breathing against Lightning's lips. "I thought I'd try demonstrating so I'm being demmomanonstative," Fang frowned, even in her drunken state she knew that wasn't right. "demomanonanonstrative," she tried again irritated when her tongue still stumbled over the word. Rolling her eyes in exasperation she admitted defeat. "I'm gonna show you," she verbalised simply, closing the distance between them.

_As a young child Claire was extremely impatient and obstinate towards her parents and the rest of the world. So after yet another embarrassing tantrum in a local cornerstone (when she was refused any treats) her strict father decided to teach her a valuable lesson—one that she would always remember. He sat her down at the kitchen table and placed a large pink marshmallow directly in front of her. Then he showed her the large bowl he was holding. It was full to the brim with sweets—caramel chocolates, fudge, jelly beans, gumdrops, pastels, lollipops, every one her favourite treat. He told the young Claire that she had a decision to make, she could either have the marshmallow immediately, or if she could sit there for fifteen minutes without eating it she could have the marshmallow plus the entire bowl of sweets. The option was obvious to the child so her father set a timer and left Claire with the marshmallow. _

_Claire lasted seven minutes and 63 seconds before she gave into temptation and her dad made her watch as he threw away her bowl of sweets._

_For Lightning this was a valuable lesson on self-restraint, patience and willpower that formed the basis of her rigid self-discipline._

_Claire on the other hand was sick of waiting._

Lightning's eyes closed instinctively as Fang's lips touched hers. It was just a simple brush of lips. At first she was so surprised that she was unsure of how to respond. So she just lay there and let the huntress slowly kiss her sensitised lips. But as Fang began to pull away her body made the decision for her.

The loss stirred something impatient hidden inside. It roared to the surface and pushed forward chasing the Pulsian's lips. Fang gasped and Lightning used her surprise to pull her hands from the brunette's grip and wrap her arms around the other woman's neck to pull her body closer. The brunette soon recovered and returned her kisses heating Lightning's body and sending violent waves of pleasure through her body that made her shake. It felt like a sort of anxiety, like her nerves were on edge and the only reprieve was through pressure from the Fang's lips and her skin. She wanted it everywhere, at the same time, all at once.

Lightning's kisses were greedy and demanding in their intensity. She bit the huntress' bottom lip with teeth until she moaned opening her mouth wide so Lightning could have more of her to explore. She wanted every inch.

Fang matched the soldier's intensity and pace with her lips, teeth and tongue until she suddenly pulled away with another gasp. And then there was that softness in her expression Lightning couldn't read as she looked down at her. She was confused as to why Fang had stopped. She couldn't have that so she began to sit up, ready to start it all again but Fang stopped her with a gentle touch to her cheek. The huntress stroked her face and it soothed and calmed her shaking body. It was reassuring telling Lightning she wasn't going anywhere. A nonverbal communication of the new easy pace Fang was setting as she slowly leaned back down.

This time Lightning followed and the sensations changed entirely. The pleasure was slow and mounting. Her heart pounded in her chest. Their bodies were so close now with no space between them that she could feel Fang's heart beat against her. And the mere thought that she was having the same effect on the huntress made another wave of desire wash over her. Fang pulled away again but not for long, as she trailed kisses down her the soldier's neck. Cool air hit the Lightning's heated face and brought with it some clarity.

_This is so wrong! _

She licked her dry lips and could taste the alcohol Fang had been drinking. Her brain was telling her over and over again about how wrong it was to be kissing her friend when she was drunk but every time she thought about stopping the woman she felt delicate lips on a new area of her skin. They blurred her moral reasoning and made her forget her objections as they moved across her neck and collarbone. The gentleness made the soldier want to do other uncharacteristic things. Embarrassing things like curse and beg so she had to bit her lip to stop herself from encouraging the huntress (that would be a step too far) but she couldn't stop the moans and gasps that escaped the corners of her mouth. Especially when Fang's right hand found an area of skin above her hip bone, revealed when her pyjama top had riding up. The soft, circles she was tracing on the soldier's with her thumb was driving her to distraction.

Fang on the other hand, was being liberal with her vocalisations and noises. And Lightning thought that her soft moans were possibly the most beautiful thing she'd ever heard. That is until Fang started to speak.

"…don't even know. You don't even know how beautiful you are," she whispered between kisses. "I love you. I love you so much."

It was too much for the soldier. She wanted to cry and laugh at the same time – it was all so confused. She had no idea where these new emotions were coming from and Fang wasn't giving her any time to process them.

Fang sat up slowly and unsteadily to straddle the woman underneath her. "I wanna make you feel beautiful," she said drunkenly slurring her words.

_This is so wrong_, Lightning thought again as Fang looked down at her with half-lidded unfocussed eyes. No matter how Fang felt about her to do this when she wasn't thinking clearly was just unethical. "Fang," Lightning tried, but she was so excited and breathless it sounded like encouragement. Fang smiled lazily and the soldier realised that things were about to get much worse for her resolve as the Pulsian's fingers dropped to the bottom of the white t-shirt she was wearing.

Lightning couldn't trust herself to speak without giving her encouragement or physically try to stop her without caressing the skin that was slowly being revealed to her. So instead she gripped the bed sheet and tried to calm herself to stimulate some coherence. But when the t-shirt being slowly pulled over the Pulsian's head reached just below her chest it was all too became too much for the soldier. She protected the last of her rationale by immediately snapped her eyes shut.

The huntress was testing the soldier's self-discipline as she moved on top of her. She wondered if closing her eyes had been a mistake because the anticipation of what the Pulsian was about to might be about to do was as exciting as actually seeing it. She felt Fang wriggle on top of her. Fang grunted and cursed. Then wriggled, whined, and cursed again. Of all the possibilities that Lightning had in mind this didn't seem the start of any of them. Hesitantly, Lightning opened one eye to see what was happening and sight that greeted her was almost unbelievable.

Fang had become stuck in the t-shirt. The tight t-shirt that Fang had been sensually removing had become stuck halfway over her head. It covered Fang's face, muffling her colourful cussing and trapping her arms above her head. The already bewildered and intoxicated woman seemed to be having some difficulty working out exactly how to untangle herself as she twisted and turned while pushing her arms outwards to try and break through her fabric confinement. And as Lightning was thanking Etro for both Fang's passion-killing predicament and that the Pulsian was still wearing her bra, the blinkered huntress lost her balance and fell onto the Cocoonian below her.

Lightning grunted as the huntress' weight fell on top of her. Now she had a chance to think Lightning felt incredible embarrassed by her temporary lack of control and lay in stunned silence with Fang motionless on top of her. The huntress was being worryingly quiet. Curiosity overcame her sudden shyness and Lightning moved Fang onto her side so she could reach up and pull down the t-shirt to uncover Fang's tired, sad and apologetic face.

"Sorry," Fang whimpered as she unsuccessfully tried to keep her eyes wide open, but each time she opened them they slowly began to close again. "Sleepy," she explained with a yawn and finally allowed her eyes to close. "Stay?" she asked as she snuggled closer to the Lightning, draping an arm over Lightning's waist and resting her head on the Cocoonian's shoulder.

Lightning wasn't going to lie, she was disappointed but she wasn't going anywhere because all she wanted to do was watch Fang fall asleep on her shoulder. Lightning reached out and moved the hair covering Fang's face. _She was so beautiful,_ she thought as she gently stroked Fang's cheek and jaw. Button nose, high cheek bones, pointed chin, full pink lips.

_Was she always this beautiful? How could it be that I had only just noticed? She wasn't just beautiful, she was funny, intelligent, and strong, and she was in love with obstinate, grumpy Lightning Farron—_me_._

Lightning couldn't stop grinning. That's why Fang had got drunk tonight, that's why she'd been talking to the people in the bar about her - Fang was madly in love her. She felt like boasting and telling everyone that she had succeeded where they had failed. She couldn't stop herself from lifting Fang's chin to claim a brief kiss.

Fang lips twitched and she hummed contentedly in her sleep. "Love you, Lightning," she murmured, snuggling into Lightning's neck.

She believed her finally. How could she not when Fang had showed her with her tender, gentle and loving kisses. The huntress loved her and it was amazing, astounding, thrilling and completely _terrifying_.

Was she in love with Fang? She was definitely attracted but was it anything more than lust?

All those emotions and sensations the huntress had aroused had been a complete surprise. Her heart was still racing from the exhilarating experience. She had no idea where it had all come from. She searched her memories. When she had met the Pulsian in Palumpolum she had been intrigued and curious about the beautiful huntress but at the time she had her sister to save and didn't have time for another one of her silly crushes so she ignored it. It was as easy as that. Her training and her father had prepared her for this situation and so disengaging was easy.

Then she lost Vanille and Fang and she was devastated but it was easier to repress her feelings of loss. Until they returned, too late for the solider - she was already too terrified of losing her again. So she repressed it and went out of her way to ignore her keeping Fang at a safe distance. _The ultimate state of repression_. Lightning shook her head at her warped tenacity for protecting herself.

_Am I in love with Fang?_

Her thoughts were racing and she wished Fang was awake so she didn't have to be alone with them. How did she feel about Fang? She wasn't sure, but what was certain was that tonight she wasn't going to get a wink of sleep worrying about it.

* * *

Rather pushing T-rating borders there. If anyone has any qualms I'll change the rating.

Some of you may argue that Fang falling asleep in such a situation is ludicrous, but my response to that would be that when you're extremely drunk nothing can stop you from falling asleep when you assume the vertical, not even the allures of Lightning Farron.

Lightning's sweet test is actually a modified version of the Stanford marshmallow test of deferred gratification; an experiment which according to my mother I would have failed as a child. That just says everything you need to know about me.

Hope you liked it. One chapter left and it's from Fang's hung-over perspective. And in my perspective being hung-over is the worst perspective, a perspective I like to avoid.


	4. Chapter 4: The hangover

Hi hi hi. Finally the last chapter huzzah!

Yet again a big ta mate to whenanxietykicksin for vastly improving this chapter. You know, when she's not being a dastardly pirate she can be an awfully nice lady.

Oh and while trying to portray my love of a certain breakfast meat this chapter also fills Fangrai-forever promt: bacon. How serendipitous or fortuitous...one of 'em.

Warnings: slight endgame spoilers (nothing major) and some bad language.

Disclaimer: own nothing. Song by Max Bygraves, that's right the mighty Bygraves.

* * *

Fang woke up the next morning with a resounding, miserable, formulaic groan. She felt bloody awful. Her limbs ached, her throat was sore, her tongue felt thick and fuzzy. In fact she quickly assessed that everything felt fuzzy especially her head. It had a hazy undercurrent mixed with a persistent throbbing that felt like she had a couple of Gremlins dancing on her brain. She knew exactly what to call her current unpleasant ailment (having experienced it on more than one occasion) but no one ever thinks about its inevitability when you're enjoying its pleasurable source.

Sitting upright she scratched her head through the knotted mess of her morning hair. _Where the hell am I? _The huntress wondered not recognising the immaculately tidy, white-walled bedroom. _How did I even get here?_ The last thing she remembered was sitting at the bar at Lebreau's, downing her third drink and then everything after that point was a complete blur. It must have been something strong because she couldn't even remember why she'd started drinking in the first place.

She wasn't worried about her temporary memory loss, it was a typical side effect of her hangovers and it eventually came back, what was concerning her was that she didn't have the slightest clue where she was. Going home with a stranger even when she was drunk was definitely new, and it had to be one of the stupidest things she had ever done in her life.

_And what the hell am I wearing_? She thought looking down at her strange clothes. _That is one tight t-shirt_. She concluded as she pulled at the limited amount of lose material.

_Strange clothes, unfamiliar room and no memory of how I got here?_ Her muddled mind tried to solve the mystery of her situation. W_hat if I've been kidnapped_? She suddenly catastrophes and the thought filled her with dread. _Drugged and kidnapped_ _by one of those Fal'cie sympathisers or a serial killer. Or…it could be much worse…it could be, s_he gasped in horror at the very thought of it, _…Etro, it could be one of __those__ fans!_

One of her L'cie fanatics. Not the sweet ones that sent her lovely complimentary letters or adorable little hand-made presents. But the other ones that sent her packages that looked so innocuous and intriguing until she opened them to find creepy, horrifying things like their used toothbrushes, toenail clippings, and hair. What was it with all the hair?! What did they even expect her to do with it?!

She looked at the glass of water and the two suspicious looking tablets on the bedside table beside her. _Nice try whackadoodle,_ she sneered, _but I'm not touching anything you've left for me._ She stood up on wobbling legs determined that hangover or no hangover, she was going to kick their arse for having the audacity to try and cage Oerba yun Fang. Marching towards the closed door her step faltered as she caught something familiar in the corner of her eye. Curious she turned fully towards the scene and her mouth dropped open in astonishment.

There were photos covering the right-hand wall and every single one of them were of her and her friends; on holiday, during celebrations, even their reunion. There was even a picture of Fang by herself, eyes crinkled as she laughed into the camera, highly amused by whoever was behind the lens.

There was only one possible explanation.

_This guy is one crazy fuck!_

The images hadn't quelled her anxiety but fed her imagination giving it the energy it required to run away with her. And so in her mind all the photos covering the wall in a strange room were like something out of a horror movie: like a bloody serial killer's shrine! The evidence was mounting (or rather mounted). Anyone who stalks her or her family had a death wish and she was going to enjoy every minute of bringing him or her some Pulsian pain.

Enraged by the apparent threat to her family, she stomped towards the door tearing it open (too agitated to consider that it was unlocked) and burst into the hallway battle ready in cat stance.

"Lightning's house!" She exclaimed aloud as she immediately recognised the corridor. _I'm at Lightning's house! S_he could hardly believe it but as she looked around the soldier's hallway, still frozen in cat stance, she reasoned that it had to be true. _Reckon she must have found me drunk somewhere and brought me home to look after me,_ she quickly concluded, fully aware of how caring and protective Lightning can be. It certainly made more sense than the serial killer theory._ So that's all you have to do to get an invite into her fabled spare room – get drunk as a skunk, _she chuckled a little self-consciously. Lowering her arms she stood upright while thanking ever deity she could think of that no one had witnessed her dramatic exit from the bedroom.

Moving to the top of the stairs Fang could hear Lightning moving pots and pans around in the kitchen below. The radio was playing and Fang could just make out Lightning's soft voice quietly singing along to the music. _Sunshine sings! _Fang smiled and mentally added the new information it to the list of things she loved about her. Her smile widened. She couldn't believe her luck. The woman she was in love was downstairs making her breakfast. It was only breakfast, but if Fang reasoned that if she behaved and played her cards right it could be breakfast, all morning or even the entire day!

Giddy at the thought of spending some time alone with her favourite person (or perhaps from the hangover) she began gleefully wobbling her way down the stairs until halfway down she caught sight of herself reflected in the glass of a photo frame. _Woah_, she grimaced leaning closer to get a better look at her disheveled appearance; red eyes, dark bags beneath and hair so matted bird's could happily use it as a nest. Fang was naturally beautiful but she still took some pride in her appearance and she certainly couldn't let Lightning see her looking like death warmed up. Breathing against the glass she caught a whiff of her morning breath and snapped her head away in disgust. And her halitosis was toxic enough to bring down an Adamantortoise.

_Bathroom_, she decided stumbling back up the stairs and, as an afterthought, made a quick detour to the spare bedroom to take (what she now realized were) the painkillers (and noticing her own clothes on the chair by the bed made her feel even more stupid for her temporary paranoia). After attending to her headache she entered the large, spotless bathroom to find that Lightning had thought ahead and laid out a bath towel and unopened toothbrush for her to use. She knew they were meant for her because on top of the pile of necessities was a piece of paper with 'Fang' written in Lightning's neat handwriting. She picked up the note and smiled. The note was simple, concise and practical just like Sunshine. And the gesture… _caring,_ she added to herself - it was one of the things Fang loved about her.

Being in love with the soldier wasn't exactly easy, she mused as she undressed and took a shower. She'd tried everything to attract Lightning's attention by means of flirting, gifts, and pranks (when she became frustrated and desperate). But despite what Fang considered to be subtle attempts to woe the soldier, Lightning remained completely oblivious to Fang's real affectionate intentions.

But Fang was a persistent romantic (or romantic fool, she hadn't quite decided), the relationship she envisaged between them was just too promising to abandon so easily. In Fang's mind they were meant to be together, she knew it the moment they met. Well, she corrected herself, not exactly the moment they met but the first time they entered battle and brought down their opponent in a matter of seconds. Complete strangers and with barely a word spoken between them but they were able to bring down their enemies because of this rare connection between them. She had seen and _felt_ it...she scoffed and shook her head at her own unsmiling reflection as she brushed her teeth. _I'm starting to sound like the letters from my psychotic fans. _

She just needed to let Lightning know how she felt in a way that wouldn't permanently ruin their friendship. And if Lightning didn't feel the same she'd get over the rejection…eventually. But today she wasn't going to think about that instead she was just going to enjoy the woman's company. However, she had to admit that she kind of liked placing the toothbrush she'd just used into the holder next to Lightning's. She left the bathroom humming _'You're a pink toothbrush'_.

The humidity of the shower hadn't helped her general fuzziness at all but at least the painkillers had taken the edge of her headache. So, still feeling like crap but at least looking a little more human, Fang plodded down the stairs and into the kitchen where Lightning stood over the stove frying something that smelt delicious. _Mmmmm…bacon_.

"Morning Lightning," Fang greeted through a yawn.

"Etro!" Lightning gasped in surprise as she jumped, dropping the fish slice she was holding in the process.

"Sorry, must have crept up on ya there." The Cocoonian probably wasn't used to having people in her house. "It's these darn huntress genes of mine that makes me extra stealthy," she demonstrated by comically tiptoeing further towards her and scooping up the utensil from the floor to return it to the red-faced soldier.

She furrowed her brow when the soldier didn't react to her teasing; she didn't retort, didn't scowl, she didn't even give her characteristic 'tch'. She just looked dumbfounded at Fang for a second before turning back to the kitchen counter and replacing her utensil with a clean one from the drawer.

_That was weird._

Lightning reached out to turn of the radio before clearing her throat. "I've made breakfast would you like some?" she asked without turning around.

Fang dropped into a seat at the kitchen island and snorted in amusement. The answer was pretty obvious. Hangovers always made her hungry (if she didn't feel queasy) and her stomach was grumbling loudly in anticipation of the appetising smells emanating from whatever Lightning was cooking. She leaned or her elbow. "Does a bear shhh...ssssure," she quickly modified her crass response as she remembered that she was trying to be on her best behavior. "Thanks," she added politely.

Feeling tired, hot and hungover Fang lay her cheek on the cool island surface and watched Lightning finish cooking. Lightning looked unusually casual, dressed in grey yoga pants and an oversized white t-shirt. _I could get used to this, _the brunette sighed contentedly. _Don't get used to this_, she immediately warned herself; such thoughts were dangerous.

Lightning plated up and placed the huntress' food in front of her. Fang sat bolt upright. "Gee Light," she commented from behind the food huge mountain, "that's quite a plate-full." Scrambled eggs, sausages, fried tomatoes and mushrooms, bacon, French toast, black pudding, baked beans it was a veritable feast.

"I didn't know what you liked to eat for breakfast so I went shopping this morning and got everything," Lightning simply explained as she made poured Fang a cup of coffee.

"Well luckily for me I like everything, and everything looks delicious," Fang chuckled her eyes never leaving her quarry as she licked her lips. It was going to be quite the struggle but Fang never turned away from battle especially when it looked so yummy.

Fang smiled as Lightning followed up with a coffee. "Thanks mate," she said her eyes fixated on her breakfast. Ravenous the brunette quickly loaded her fork with as much food as it could take. And already salivating at its potential satisfaction she scooped it up towards her mouth and paused with it halfway to her open mouth as her eyes wandered from her food and noticed that Lightning hadn't moved from the spot in front of her. Wondering what the soldier was doing she looked up and caught Lightning's puzzled expression as she looked down at her. As their eyes met Fang lowered her fork, and Lightning's expression quickly changed from bewildered to nonchalant before she span back towards the counter and began tidying away the breakfast things.

"Bloody hell Lightning, you look how I feel!" Fang commented on Lightning's red eyes and drawn, tired features. "Were you drunk last night as well?" Fang asked suddenly wishing she could remember more of what had transpired last night. And also wondering what a drunken Lightning would be like.

Lightning's body flinched, just slightly but enough for the observant huntress to notice. "No just you….you _don't_ remember?" she asked still with her back to the huntress.

"Nope, hangover," she explained with a shrug. "It'll come back eventually." She raised her fork back towards her mouth and paused to watch Lightning wipe down the kitchen counters. "I must have been really out of it last night so thanks for looking after me. It was really stupid to get so drunk alone, I mean anyone could have taken advantage...and...I…" she trailed off dumbfounded as Lightning's cleaning began frantic—leaning down until her nose was almost touching the kitchen top she was now rigorously scrubbing. "Alright sunshine," Fang said throwing her fork down, she couldn't ignore Lightning's strange behavior any longer. Lightning was always terrible at hiding things (subterfuge was never the soldier's forte), and if the introspective woman wouldn't tell her what was wrong then Fang was determined to extract the information one way or another. "What exactly did I do last night?" She pushed her plate away and leaned backwards crossing her arms.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Lightning feigned ignorance, poorly.

"I must have done something because you're acting sooo...," she waved her hand around as she tried to think of a good word, "..._flighty_. You're avoiding eye contact, you're more quiet than usual and you're scrubbing that counter so hard you're going to wear a hole down to the kitchen floor," she accused. Lightning immediately stopped cleaning and stood upright. "It couldn't be something you did because you were the sober one," Lightning flinched again. "So out with it soldier what did I do? I will not stop asking 'til you tell me. "

Lightning sighed, her shoulders lowering dejectedly. Clearing her throat again she turned to face the huntress but kept her eyes on the floor as she leaned against the counter. "I found you drunk at Lebreau's late last night." she started. Fang tried not to seem smug as Lightning gave in and simply nodded to show she was listening.

"I brought you here because you didn't want to wake Vanille…"

_Makes sense, _Fang thought, _rudely awoken Vanille can be quite terrifying_.

"…we started talking,…"

_Ohhh-kay. _

"…and you told me you were in love with me."

_Shhhhiiiit!_

"And then…," Lightning said quietly, "you kissed me."

_Woo hoo-I mean - shhhhiiiit!_

Fang's mouth hung open. _Shit, shit, shitty, shit, shit!_ What was it about drink that made her so honest? Honesty was the exact reason why she never got drunk around Lightning and now honesty had ruined everything. Judging by Lightning's anxious demeanor Fang was going to have to do some major damage control if she had any hope of saving their friendship. She was completely devastated by the soldier's rejection but to lose Lightning entirely was inconceivable. So outwardly she hid her emotions while internally grieving the end of something that never began. She had a plan and it was her most deceitful trick yet.

Fang laughed loudly pretending to be amused. "Really pulled a fast one on you this time didn't I sunshine?" she smirked. "I can't believe you fell for another one of my awesome pranks!"

Lightning's eyes finally met Fang's and narrowed. "You were joking?" she questioned.

"Of course I was joking!" She lied. "I knew you'd finish your patrol at Lebreau's, your obsessive need to follow your internal timetable makes you very predictable by the way. So I waited for you to get there and pretended to be drunk. You don't really think I could be so drunk after only a few drinks!" Lightning furrowed her brow in confusion. "Awww Lightning," Fang teased, "your naivety is so adorable."

"You were joking," Lightning repeated pushing away from the counter and clenching her fists. Fang nodded. "YOU WERE JOKING!" Fang's blinked in shock as the stoic soldier raised her voice.

During her lifetime Fang had faced down Behemoths, Orphan, even a rudely awoken Vanille, but nothing had quite prepared her for a furious Lightning. Even in battle the soldier looked upon her enemies with more mercy. She expected Lightning to be pissed, Lightning always was after one of Fang's practical jokes, but right now she looked at Fang like was about to tear her a new one. "YOU WERE JOKING?"

_Owww, that did not help the headache! _Fang hissed in began stalking around the island towards the brunette and the Pulsian instinctively scrambled from her chair and away from the enraged soldier. "Now hold on a second there sweetheart," she said holding up her hands while simultaneously moving around the island to try and keep something between her and livid Cocoonian.

"Do you know how worried I've been?" Lightning growled slowly pursuing the huntress around the kitchen. "I've been going over and over every little detail, every conversation, and every encounter. Searching and analyzing and deciphering. I haven't slept. I haven't even eaten".

"Here h-h-have a sausage," Fang stuttered quickly grabbing a sausage from her plate as they passed by and held it out to the soldier as a peace offering.

Not amused, Lightning's eye line barely glanced at the meat product before they were straight back to at Fang. "Do you think that's funny?" Lightning repeated this time low and menacing as she moved towards the huntress.

The brunette felt like a dear in headlights. Lightning's gaze was piercing, searching. And even under its troubling, fierce condemnation Fang couldn't seem to look away as her eyes commanded Fang's attention. Entrapped Fang kept her eyes facing the soldier and didn't foresee that Lightning had been distracting her to force her into a corner until her back hit the fridge door. "Well, n-not really funny per sa. It's just meat and a bit grizzle in a pig intestine. B-but I suppose if you hold it like this," she suggested holding up the sausage, "a-and imagine-" Fang stuttered into silence, pressing her back into the fridge as Lightning leaned closer invading her personal space until they were almost nose to nose with the sausage trapped between them. Fang's mouth went dry and her face immediately heated up her close proximity (under different circumstances it would have be kind of hot minus the sausage).

"I can't believe I felt sorry for you when all the time you were just pretending to be in love me. I was so, so worried that I'd …that we...Do you have any scruples or consideration at all for the people you're hurting when you play your stupid, childish pranks?" She yelled. She didn't wait for Fang to answer, "No, no," she shook her head chuckling mirthlessly, "it seems you find hurting people's feelings to be extremely entertaining." She looked Fang up and down. "You're not the woman from last night and you're not the woman I hoped you were." Her disappointed expression only lasted a moment before her features became angry again.

Fang breathed out a sigh of relief as Lightning pulled away. Without looking at her again Lightning rushed away from Pulsian and out of the open plan kitchen. Walking up to the front door she paused to angrily yank on the trainers she kept there. "I've got to go to work. You better not be here when I get back," she threatened as she slammed the door behind her.

Fang groaned miserably._ Nice going dumbass_, she congratulated herself, _good luck mending that relationship._ Grumbling she sat back down at the island and threw the sausage she was holding back onto her plate. Now she really felt like crap. Not only had she fallen out with the woman she loved but without her lovely distraction her hangover reared its oppressive head. Emotional and physically drained she didn't really feel like eating but she wasn't going to let good food go to waste. Plus she'd need the sustenance. She was going to eat this, go home, go to bed and wallow in self-pity for as long as she could. And there was nothing like a hangover to facilitate a good wallow.

_What the hell was her problem anyway?_ She pondered over the woman's reaction as she stabbed some items of food with her fork and brought the food back up to her mouth._ It's my fucking heart that's breaking, _the food halted in its journey (again) as she replayed their argument.

_...Do you have any scruples or consideration at all for the people you're hurting when you play your stupid, childish pranks?...it seems you find hurting people's feelings to be extremely entertaining…_

Such peculiar phrasing, people's feelings! What did that mean? Which people? Everyone always liked her jokes, didn't they? Something didn't add up. The cogs in her muddled, hung-over brain slowly began to turn. She glanced over to the mantle in the living room where Lightning kept her favourite gunblade. _She's going to work without her gunbade and wearing tracksuit bottoms and a t-shirt? _Her brain questioned. Suddenly the aloof woman's vague words made sense and everything just clicked into place. "People's feeling! _People's_! _feeling_! " she exclaimed dropping her fork and jumping to her feet.

Headache and hangover suddenly forgotten she raced after the soldier and tore open the door grimacing as the bright sunlight hit the back of her eyes. Using her hand to shield her eyes she blinked rapidly as they adjusted to piercing light. "Lightning, wait!" she shouted at the soldier who had stopped to at the end of the path to check her mail box. Lightning glanced up from reading her mail and scowled at the brunette before turning sharply to march quickly down the street. Fang called out to her again, walking out into the front garden but instead of stopping Lightning's pace began to speed up.

"Oh, no you don't," Fang muttered to herself. She had to stop her quickly. If she allowed Lightning to run ahead she'd never catch up with the sprinter.

Fang bolted forward running barefoot across Lightning's front garden on an intercept course for the soldier. Lightning's turned and realising she was being chased her fast walk turned into a sprint. Fang sped up, jumped over the neighbour's hedge took a few more large strides to get a little closer before leaping towards the fleeing Cocoonian.

Lightning's mail flew through the air as Fang dived towards the soldier's waist tackling her onto the grass verge beside the path. Lightning responded immediately, thrashing about trying to pry the huntress' strong grip from around her waist. "Just calm down for a second," Fang groaned with her arms still tight around her and her head flat against her belly as she tried to stop the soldier from escaping (and also have a little rest). _All this exercise is not helping my headache._ Her tired limbs felt even more sluggish after the exercise and so she was in no position to win a wrestling match against the soldier. Using her body weight to stop Lightning from standing her she awkwardly shimmed up the soldier's body with her arms still around her until she was in a position to hold her arms and legs down using her hands and knees.

If Fang thought that Lightning looked angry before it was nothing compared to the irate, red-faced, snarling fury that lay beneath her now. "I'm sorry Lightning but I know what you're like. And if I don't ask you this now you'll avoid the subject, or me, until we never talk about it ever again," Fang reasoned. Lightning suddenly lay still appearing to relent but Fang was buying her surrender for one second. She still had a murderous look in her eyes that made Fang too wary to release her grip (she always was a terrible liar). They both breathed heavily as they tried to catch their breaths and Lightning's, once again turned her head to avoid eye contact with the Pulsian. Now it was Fang's turn to nervously clear her throat. "I'm going to ask you a question and then I'll let you go, but you've got to look at me first." _so I can tell if you're lying, _she added to herself_._

Their eyes met and the familiarity of the situation brought back a memory from last night like a swift, hard kick to Fang's head.

_…__soft lips unresponsive, you draw away disappointed. But softness peruses and then relentless warmth like fire. You're surprised, not for long. She always was a good leader…_

Fang sat upright pointing an accusingly finger at the warrior. "Youkissedmeback!" she managed to blurt in one syllable. Lightning remained silent but her bright burning red cheeks and guilty expression told Fang everything she needed to know. "I remember. I kissed you then you kissed me. You kissed me back!" She shouted again. Fang really didn't mean to be loud but she was in complete astonishment, and she was a little bit ecstatic. This morning the soldier hadn't been worried about breaking Fang's heart, she was feeling racked with guilt for making out with her friend while she was drunk. Fang was absolutely thrilled.

Lightning looked mortified and her eyes nervously darting around as she tried to shush Fang's reminiscent babble. "Yes, I kissed you back," she hissed quietly. "Can you please keep not tell the entire neighbourhood?" But Fang didn't seem to be listening and continued yelling the intimate details of their encounter. Lightning sat up and began trying to cover the huntress's mouth with her hand to stop her from speaking. But the brunette wanted to enthusiastically remember every incredible detail out loud. She pulled Lightning's hand away, which Lightning immediately replaced, so Fang pulled it away again and the cycle continued resulted in a garbled recount of their night together.

"Lips..mblurghmm…was sooooo good when…hmmbshy…where did you learn to...mmnbhguh…with your tongue." Fang's mouth dropped open and this time she held onto both of Lightning's hand to stop the soldier from silencing her. "Wow," Fang smiled blissfully as she suddenly regained the memory of Lightning biting her bottom lip, "you're really feisty." Fang's smile widened when Lightning's cheeks turned a darker shade of red.

The enormity of what last night had meant suddenly hit Fang and her smile faded. _Does it mean she likes me too?_ Fang considered as Lightning kept her eyes trained on their joined hands. _What if she regrets what happened last night?_ She had to be brave and take a chance…warily.

"What if I said that I was lying?" Fang hypothesised. "Not last night but this morning," she quickly explained as Lightning began to pull her hands away. Lightning stopped and timidly looked up at the huntress. She still didn't say anything but Fang took her almost indiscernible eye twitch (that would have gone unnoticed to anyone but the huntress) as a good sign. She continued airily, as if nonchalant but inside she felt like her heart was thumping so hard it was trying to escape her chest cavity. "What if we forget about me prematurely dropping the L-bomb and just go on a date?"

Lightning blinked and began worrying her bottom lip with her teeth. "Errrmmm..." Fang's heart and hopeful smile simultaneously dropped as Lightning hesitated, "can I check something first?"

_Great. Just bloody great! She must feel like the kiss was a mistake and she's dilly-dallying while she tried to think up some lame excuse to lessen the blow. _

"Yeah, sure." What else could she say? She pursed her lips and released Lightning's hands to run a hand through her hair.

_I may be a romantic fool, but not an idiot. I see what you're doing. Making excuses to save my feelings...ohhh I see, sitting up to get away from me well that's just fine with me sweetheart. Tilting your head slightly as you lean in, looking…at my lips…wait that doesn't seem right. Why is she closing her eyees…wait a sec is she about to- Oh - sssssssiiiiiighhhhhh. _

The reality of kissing Lightning Farron was much better than the memory. It was wonderful. And the sensation that started at her lips spread down her body until her body tingled and melted. Even her knees went weak and wobbled as their lips moved gently over hers, and she wasn't even standing. It was so enchanting Fang hadn't even realized they'd stopped kissing until an unfamiliar noise pulled her from her ecstasy-induced haze.

Lightning had pulled away from Fang and laughed, delighted by the goofy expression on the huntress' face. It was such a carefree and utterly charming that Fang's dreamy grin widened at the sound and sight of Lightning laughing. It was more beautiful than she had imagined.

"You can pick me up tomorrow night. Dinner, a movie and you're driving." She smiled as Fang nodded, enthusiastically agreeing to her every instruction. She had no idea what Lightning had found in the kiss but she wasn't going to stop to question it. "But first, how about we have some breakfast?" she suggested, wriggling out from under Fang she stood up, picked up her scattered mail and held her hand out to the dazed huntress pulling her onto her feet. "You must be hungry."

She laughed again as Fang's stomach grumbled loudly answering for the dumbstruck huntress. It was so beautiful. _She was so beautiful, everything was just beautiful, _Fang thought as she fell in love with the soldier all over again. She wanted to pick her up in her arms and carry her into her house to spend the day talking, laughing and kissing but she appreciated that Lightning always needed to feel in control. So she kept her impulsive thoughts to idle musing and decided to let the soldier set the pace for now. Fang wasn't known for her self-control but she could show an abundant amount for patience when it came to Lightning. Especially if meant that this Cocoonian would finally catch with her.

Fang smiled happily as Lightning took her hand and led her to breakfast. After all, she'd waited over seven hundred years to be loved by someone like Lightning, she reckoned she could wait a little longer.

* * *

Huzzah for finished stories. I love how they temporarily sooth my obsessive nature, mmmmm so warm and fuzzy inside.

Just two things I wanna mention; (1) Apparently when famous people are asked what the weirdest thing a fan has sent them hair is a common theme. I've always wondered what it is about hair. (2) The Bygraves song I mentioned popped into my head when I was writing about toothbrushes and when I looked up the lyrics I realized how appropriate they were - in a mad, vague kind of a way. I mean a blue toothbrush proclaiming their love for a pink toothbrush surely parodies the love between Lightning and Fang?

Thank you to everyone who reviewed, faved, followed and gave me suggestions for improvements. It's the most support I've received for any of the stories I've written by myself so I really appreciate it. Thanks and internet hugs for everyone, huzzah.


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